RILEY J ROAMS

My time here is ending before it even started. I moved to Chicago on the first of March—three weeks before the whole world shut down. I received a full-time job offer right after I moved, but it was cancelled due to the lockdown. So I was quarantining in a new apartment with new roommates in a major city. 

At first I thought, “wow, all the time I had ever wanted to get everything done,” but how can I be productive when the fall of our species seems to be so near? Helpless and stranded, I often found my eyes glued to my phone while hundreds die every day and the rich get richer while the poor get poorer. Days turned into weeks turned into months. Looking back, it’s hard to remember what occupied me those days: much learning, much writing, and much wondering.

Then it was the end of May, and many went from isolating to gathering in large groups as a result of George Floyd being murdered by Derek Chauvin. People came together in a way like never before—shutting down major cities while wearing masks to protect one another. It felt as if the world had shut down so we could focus on the systematic racism and police brutality that has been present in our country for so long. This was a time in every person’s life where they could work to understand what had happened when Chauvin pressed his knee to Floyd’s neck for eight never-ending minutes. And the whole world erupted.

From protests to vigils to riots to looting, the city of Chicago was a summer filled with storms and growth. There was both a connection and separation like I had never experienced. As I found myself surrounded by new people there were bridges pulled up to separate the wealthy and disinvested parts of the city. People joined in celebration for the first time in months, and they also mourned the innocent lives lost to police murder. I’m so privileged to only being hearing about these unjust situations instead of experiencing them. Helicopters flew closeby in the sky, disrupting the eerie silence with buzzing wings, as I wandered through boarded up streets. Swimming in the lake felt like an escape to a city that was wounded but slowly recovering.

It was an unusual, but must-needed summer. Not being able to see the people I care about gave me a deeper gratification for those in my life. Having the world slow down gave me the time to pursue things I’ve been dreaming about for years. The pandemic has brought fourth so many underlying issues within our country such as the wealth gap, universal health care, essential workers making minimum wage, racism, white supremacy, and police brutality. 

The temperatures are dropping and I’m (once again) putting my things in boxes—not exactly sure of what comes next. The job I was offered back in March reached out to me offering me a remote position.The lease is ending for the apartment I’m living in, and I’m driving out west. Although I have enjoyed my short time in Chicago, I know it is time for a break from the busy city. I’ll be back when it’s time for warm coats and gray skies—hopefully our world will be a bit healthier by then too.